Dial 'P' for P-Murder.

I was called to the scene mid-afternoon. What I saw there raised a springy orange flag in my mind as well as the hairs on the back of my neck. I took it in, the bile rising but I stuffed it back down because I'm a pro with a job to do. And this aint my first trip to the beach.

Even so, I'd never seen anything like it. I felt a cold truth settle over my heart: It was immediately obvious from the ritualistic elements, the public nature of the display, the number of victims - the sick bastard was escalating.

Before you die, you see: THE RING... of Pedal-Buggies.

I was cruising on the Schwinn round Ulverstone the other day and encountered a lady trying to detach a four person pedal-buggie from where it had become stuck on a pole. I helped her move it along and saw that she and a couple of men were arranging them thus in one of the many parks. It turned out to be for a 'Virtual tour' on the 'Internet' for 'Tourism'. If you're around Ulverstone beach and feel like forced family togetherness in fresh air or just menacing fellow pavement travellers, have a look. Although I don't think you're allowed to take them off any sweet jumps, they look like bicycle adjacent fun.