Hello, I Love You - Won't You Tell Me Your Name?

Waiting patiently near the supermarket checkouts in Ulverstone, this cream coloured Trek Allant WSD sporting the same Bontrager front basket as my Pashley, only attached to a front carrier rather than handlebar mounted.

Presenting: The least offensive bicycle ever created by humans.
And a plastic bag recycling bin.

According to the Trek website, the Allant WSD has an abundance of 21 gears and includes the front carrier and reflective tyres. At an RRP of $599 that's a lot of gears for your dollar! It's categorised as an 'Urban Utility Bike' on the site and the copy proclaims it a reliable commuter. To me it seems like a nice blend, though I'd probably put a back rack on it to maximise carrying capacity. As Trek and Bontrager are one and the same, it would be easy to get a rack and basket for the rear - Bontrager rear racks/baskets have a special mounting specific to the brand which is why I could not put a Bontrager on the back of my Pashley. The seat looks quite cushy in person, as thick as a cruiser saddle but shaped more like a road style.

Every time I see this bicycle I think to myself, 'That's a nice looking bicycle, I wonder what it is?' before realising it's the same Trek I've seen a hundred times before. I must conclude that unless deliberately personalised, the Trek Allant is pretty but not especially memorable. This makes it a great option for those who want to get around comfortably and in some style without drawing attention to themselves. It's the bicycle equivalent of a white hatchback car: Sensible and anonymous.

Orange Crush 2.0

Spotted on a perfect Spring Saturday strolling the Burnie boardwalk, this tangerine Electra:

You are sooo good looking.

We'd spent the morning seeing uninspiring hybrid after mountain bike rolling along next to the ocean, the casual riders wearing exercise clothes or safety vests but this Electra belonged to an ordinarily dressed lady sitting on a nearby bench, supervising family on the playground. There was a little childrens bike next to it. The bright pop of the frame made me smile and wish my own bicycle was with me. I was enamoured enough to ask her permission to photograph it and she was kind enough to allow me, even moving the little bicycle out of the way. As I'd already interrupted her conversation, I did not stop to ask where she'd purchased the cheerful Electra but I hope she didn't have to import it interstate. I like the thought of a Tasmanian repository for such joy dispensing machines.

Friends With Bikes.

There's a bicycle for everyone. Differences in budget, physical requirements and personality contribute to a delightful variety amongst the casual bicycling community, as evidenced by a sampling of my friends with a glimpse of East Perth café strip. Starting with my own bicycles:

Schwinn Jenny 7 Speed 2011 model.
(With another in the background!)

Pashley Princess Sovereign in Buckingham Black.

When bicycle shopping, my physical requirements are not too difficult to satisfy. I prefer to stay on the saddle and toe-touch stabilise the slightly tilted bicycle when at a stop rather than hopping off and standing astride as some people do. I am injury free from the middle down (some neck and shoulder problems) with reasonable strength in my legs thanks to life as a pedestrian. I am 175cm (5ft 9inches) tall, which is either average height or tall depending upon where you live. In Western Australia particularly, I am firmly average so it was very easy for me to find bicycle frames in my size. The Pashley is a medium  20" frame which was also the only available size in Perth. Being on the line between average and tall, I could also fit a 22.5" Pashley frame if it was offered. Some people prefer their bicycles to feel large, Dutch bikes are very good at this but the Pashley strikes me as being designed more compactly and I don't really have a preference in relative scale. Distance between seat and bars matters less in an upright bicycle as you're not stretching your torso forward to the handlebars so I'm happy with the medium. The seat post adjusts to fit my leg length and the bars also raise accordingly so the overall feel of the 20" Pashley for me is 'neatly tailored' rather than tight.

The Schwinn Jenny is a size S(Small) frame and was also the only size available in that particular shop. However, many Schwinn dealers in Australia offer bikes from XS to L so if your requirements are more specific, be sure to check bikeexchange. A sticker affixed to the seat post declared me at the very upper limit of suitability for the small size (It read 'Up to 175cm'.). Again, the seat is high enough so I don't feel cramped. It also has a handy quick adjustment lever which makes it great for lending to bikeless friends of most heights when on social jaunts. The handlebars stay at my preferred height as they require a spanner.

 

Ginger poses outside of Toast Café East Perth,
a popular non-lycra clad rider bicycle destination.

'Trek 1.2' 2011 model, 18 Speed Aluminium frame Men's Road Bike.

Schwinn Classic Al 3 Speed 2009 model aluminium cruiser.
Pictured at Burnie Beach. (Storm Trooper helmet not included.)

At 186cm tall (6ft and a smidgeon), Ginger is on par with the average Australian man of Gen-Y and a majority in the generations above and below (Each new generation tending to be taller than the last). His Trek 1.2 2011 road bike is a size 56cm/Large men's specific frame. As men have longer torsos compared to leg length, your average lightweight, modern road bike frame is scaled accordingly between seat and handlebars. Traditional style steel flat bar road bikes tend to be unisex with the smaller sized frames being suitable for most women.

Ginger's Schwinn cruiser is officially a men's frame but has a one size fits most construction thanks to the crank forward (aka 'flat foot') positioning of the pedal to seat post relationship. This means that at rest your feet are both firmly touching the ground, making it excellent for nervous cyclists and yet another flexible bike for lending to friends of different heights.

Australian Giant 'Via 2W', 8 Speed 2012 model, XS frame.
All Giant Via for women frames are slender steel with attached basket and an elegantly
swooping, mixte inspired split top tube. American models differ in features and colours.

Boo and Bike, a match made in very short heaven.

At a diminutive 149cm (4ft 11") tall, our friend Boo had some difficulty finding a bicycle frame in Perth as not many retailers in Australia offer truly smaller sized frames. (Just look at how big my small Schwinn is!) Initially she purchased a size S Giant 'Via W' 8 Speed 2011 model in black but even with the seat down as far as it would go, her toe was nowhere near the ground and Boo keenly felt the lack of stability when stopping. There was a half-joking investigation into children's bicycles until it was realised that Giant Australia do actually offer frames in an XS size. Sadly, the 2011 was not available in an extra small as the models were transitioning into 2012 editions (New models of common bike brands arrive mid-year) but fortunately, the shop of purchase was willing to exchange her small 2011 Via for a 2012 in an XS. Rather than black with silver floral flourishes, the 2012 Via 8 Speed was a quirky chocolate with pops of pink and hints of white, giving the whole affair a distinctly 'Rocky Road' vibe. It makes me happy when I see it because it reminds me of marshmallows at a fondue party. Giant Vias also come in 3 or single speed depending upon country of sale. If you are petite, Giant is worth investigating as their XS is in fact EXTRA small.

Mystery Cruiser, Mystery Hippie.

Perhaps a centimetre difference in height compared to me but definitely the same shoe size, The Hippie is also fortunate enough to be average in her bicycle requirements. Her cruiser was purchased from ebay; second-hand and already resprayed. Consequently nobody knows the make or model but I can tell you that it is incredibly heavy so it must be made of steel and also be the oldest of these bikes. As you can see, the frame shape is the same as Ginger's cruiser. Technically I suppose it's a men's frame but the cruiser style reads as unisex so nobody throws rotten fruit at her in the street for defying gender expectations. Like all cruisers, The Hippie's bike has a 'flat foot' position when at rest so fit is flexible and determined by comfort rather than measurements. Together, the cruiser and The Hippie work in laid-back harmony.

Despite differences in bike type, dress and riding style within my own circle of friends, all of our bicycles are compatible because the riders are compatible, willing to stick with each other on social rides no matter how relaxed the pace. Regardless of personality, height, leg length or comfort level there is a bike to satisfy all of us. Do the research, try as many as you can, add some pleasant people and you can't go wrong either.

Retro Raspberry Beret.

What a Bicycle-Chic treat! Drooled over in Melbourne CBD; a German Retrovelo in classic red. I forgot to see how many gears it had so I don't know if it's a 'Klara' or Paula' (And I always feel weird getting too close to strange bicycles.) but both models have the same lovely lights, flirty fenders, cushioning cream Schwalbe tyres and every other disturbingly sexual alliteration one might wish to apply to an inanimate object. Looks like a Basil 'Beauty Shopper' rattan look basket with the stem mounted quick release rather than the more common handlebar attachment. In fact, they seem to have removed the headlight in favour of the basket! Looking at the Retrovelo website, the front light comes mounted very high up, directly where the basket mount on this bicycle is sitting - so I can see they would have conflicted. How lucky for me that the Pashley light was already positioned to accommodate a basket. It seems a bit myopic of Retrovelo to do otherwise.

I've yet to try a bicycle with balloon tyres, it's on my list of future bicycle experiences. I bet it makes for a smoother inner city ride. Other features of note include the warmly hued Brooks saddle, colour matched grips and the rear rack sprayed the same colour as the frame, something I always find extra appealing. The Retrovelo site says that the rack is an optional item. Well, good decision, Person Who Bought This Bicycle! I hope it was still there when you returned.

According to the Retrovelo website, there is but a single dealer in Australia - In Victoria of course. Perhaps one day I'll get a test-ride. Until then, I can only suffer some serious bicycle envy. Love that red.

A Really, Really, Ridiculously Good-Looking E-Bike?

Quick! Think of an electric bike! Gross, right? The thought of e-bikes tends to provoke images of camp futurism and lots of silver and plastic. Not to mention that unavoidably ugly battery. But I've just stumbled upon a radically beautiful looking e-bike developed and designed in the United States and about to go into its first ever production run. (Sadly, not available internationally…yet) It's called the Faraday Porteur, it's both a utility and an electrically assisted bicycle and it looks like this:

Image from Faraday website.
Please go there so I feel better about using their picture.

When was the last time you saw an e-bike that looked so good? The Faraday Porteur is revolutionary for many reasons and you can read about all of them either on their Kickstarter page or their website but I'll summarise a few here.

Firstly, the batteries are INSIDE the double top tube of the frame, solving the usual e-bike problem of chunky blocks squatting over the rear tyre or in the case of DIY e-bike kits, giant bricks wedged below the seat. That little green bit at the back is where the plug for recharging is housed. And check out the lovely leather pouch on the top tubes - charming! Not to mention the Brooks saddle and leather grips. A 21st Century bike with a firmly vintage aesthetic. I love the cream and mint colour scheme too. Unisex enough that the rider will push it either way.

Secondly, note the portage friendly features like double kickstand and front rack with weight distributed through the frame rather than down on the front wheel. This allows for heavier loads. If you check out the video on the Kickstarter page, you'll see that the front carrier is even detachable for when you want a narrower profile or lighter bicycle. The creators plan to release other accessories to click into the same quick release as the rack for a future of customisation and even pet carrying! Also proving its street cred, the Faraday Porteur has built in LED lighting. Two at the front (see the support tubes under the front carrier? The lights are inside there!) and red at the rear.

Another detail which adds to the Faraday Porteur's charm includes the complete lack of a giant computer screen, a thing which often plagues e-bikes. Instead there is an understated 'virtual ink level' next to the electronic assist switch which is itself a minty green little thumb shifter on the handlebars, very subtle. The fenders/mudguards are made of wood, an interesting choice. They certainly look pretty even if it feels a little gimmicky. I wonder if that was a weight reducing choice? I also wonder just how much protection that chain ring would offer - maybe they should have busted out a wooden chain case! I jest. I do like the clean look of it, though. You can really tell this is a 'Designer's bike' as well as a triumph of technological geekery. Dare I type it? It reminds me of a certain fruit-themed company that successfully combined attractive design with ease of use and innovative technology.

I don't really like to use pictures from other websites but my enthusiasm for this
has forced me to make an exception. This is a beautiful bike in general as well
as a significant leap forward for e-bikes.

I really hope this re-imagining of an e-bike takes off for the people at Faraday and perhaps inspires greater change in the e-bike industry. I'd love to see more traditional looking e-bikes offered as an attractive, prestige alternative to cars. The Kickstarter page says the Faraday Porteur is going to retail for almost US$4000 which is confrontingly expensive until you take into account the fact that it's made domestically (as far as they are concerned) out of high quality materials and parts, is an e-bike and is a fully loaded utility bike in a vintage inspired style. Best of all, the video boasts that the Faraday was bred to tackle the infamous hills of San Francisco - As a Tasmanian, that is definitely technology I can get behind.

So You Want to Get Back on a Bike: A Re-Beginner's Guide.

So many of us have fond memories of bicycling as children. So many of us abandoned our two-wheeled friends when we 'upgraded' to cars. Many of us would love to get back into bicycling for leisure or fitness, maybe even for transportation. We know have to start somewhere. Yet there is understandable trepidation - "What if I've forgotten how to ride a bike?" "What if I look stupid or fall off?" "What if I buy the wrong bike?" "As an adult, what will it be like?"


When we made our triumphant return to bicycling, "What's it like?" is a question Ginger and I encountered more than once from friends and acquaintances, even strangers. People like us who hadn't ridden a bicycle since their age ended in -teen. And one day, when asked that question yet again, Ginger replied with a revelatory simplicity containing such a fundamental truth that it has also been my answer ever since. I share it here with you in case it's just what you have been wanting to know:

"Remember when you were a kid and you used to ride your bike with a huge smile on your face? Well, it still feels exactly like that."

And it's true. Part of the reason I knew the Schwinn Jenny 7 speed was the perfect bike for me to get back into cycling was because even underneath my cautious awareness during the test ride, even having not been on a bicycle for many years, that feeling was there. It's the feeling Ginger got from the Schwinn Classic Al Cruiser and now with different skills, the feeling he gets from his Trek road bike. And I honestly believe that's the secret to buying 'the right' bike. You can't do that online - especially if you haven't been on a bicycle since you were 15. By all means, do your research online. I did. It's a fantastic way to discover what's available, what you might need and to make a short list. Once you have found a bicycle/s that you think will suit your local topography in terms of gearing and your personal preference in terms of looks and features, find a stockist and go to the shop wearing the type of clothes and shoes you intend to cycle in. Bike Exchange is a great Australian resource listing stock from both independent and franchised bicycle shops in every state. Run your short-list through it and see what pops up in your area. It's also easy to search for sale items and old stock either in your area or in individual shops. If you're on a budget, there are often heavy discounts on last years models and the only difference in larger brands between years is the paint job. In the case of more niche finds like Pashley, the bike will probably look exactly the same.


Really, the only in-store advice you need as a Re-Beginner is if the bike is the right size frame for your body and confirmation that it has the right number of gears for your area. A good bike shop will understand you don't want much more from them at this stage, just a bit of encouragement and disaster prevention. A good bike shop proprietor will not try to sell you something wildly beyond your skill level just to make a quick buck so be honest about your fears and expectations. After all, if they treat you well as a Re-Beginner, they're more likely to get your future business if you ever decide to lay down some serious cash and even if you don't, you'll have to see them again for your complimentary service so it's better for everybody to be friendly. Tell them what you liked about bikes on your shortlist (e.g. "It had mudguards," or "It could carry things.") and give them a price point based on your research. Get them to adjust at least the saddle and possibly handlebars to fit you so that they are not negatively affecting your test ride. This is a minute of their time, two minutes at most so if the saddle needs adjusting and they won't do it, turn around and walk out. As a Re-Beginner, you do not want or have to give these people your money. Once it fits you? Get on it. Test ride it. You don't have to go far but you do have to at least go out of sight of the shop proprietor and your spouse or your friend - whoever came with you to the bike shop*. Go as far as you need to in order to get a moment alone on the bike, to really be pedalling free of the expectations of anybody but yourself. Whether that turns out to be just around the corner of the bike shop where you can go up and down and around the same 100 square metres of car park until you're sick of it or out in the suburban streets a couple of blocks away, make sure you're cycling alone long enough to stop worrying about how you look or if you're doing it wrong. Long enough to do some turns, do some braking, stop and start and gain enough confidence to think beyond any residual anxiety. What you need is to ride long enough to answer the most important question: "Is this making me happy?" It will be an easy question to answer. If you feel giddy inside despite being slightly wobbly outside - if you feel like you're 6 years old going around the block for the first time, you don't need to know anything else.

It should feel like this.

*If you're at the bike shop alone, it's generally good form to leave your handbag/something of personal value with the proprietor so they know you'll bring their bicycle back. At some point you have to trust each other if you want a decent test ride. I personally find it easier to leave a human companion behind but I know that's not possible for everybody and there have been times Ginger and I test rode together and I left my handbag behind as collateral. On that occasion, the bike shop staffer even lent us the lights from his own bike as we were testing at night and riding away from the well lit street the shop was on. It's about a basic level of trust and respect so if you're not getting that from your Re-Beginner retail experience, shop around until you do. Don't let bad customer service ruin the potential joy of cycling.

Might As Well Face It: You'll Accessorise the Bike.

Of course, once you have bought your charmingly upright bicycle, you may suffer from the delusion that it is complete. It's not. Any bicycle shop sales person will undoubtedly convince you. Even if they don't, the law may require you to accessorise anyway with helmet, bell and lights so you might as well start Googling 'super cute head lights' and surrender to the madness.

The original Pashley basket.
Looks fine until you try to attach it to the bicycle.
Then it is too miniature!

When I purchased the Pashley, I was so uncomfortable with the service I received at the point of sale that we actually drove straight to Ginger's favourite bike shop and 'completed' my bicycle there. For a start, the famous Pashley wicker basket the original shop presented me with was broken. I asked if they had a remedy and was pleased to be told they could swap it out. It was only after getting the Pashley home and looking over many pictures and web sites that I realised the basket they had given me did not look like the quintessential Pashley basket. It was significantly smaller compared to the bike than examples I had seen online. I wondered if it was because of export differences but I've seen many photos of North American Pashleys with large basket intact so I suppose I'll never know for certain. Worst of all, it did not actually bridge the distance between basket support and handlebars so it could not be attached to the bike. Long before I noticed the size discrepancy I noticed its fragility so part of my mission at Ginger's bike shop was basket replacement.

Being a Roadie-centric retail outfit, the shop was filled with the usual clipless pedals and green lyrcra taint cushions but there was also a small collection of decidedly upright accessories. I had previously spotted the Bontrager faux-wicker front and rear baskets as well as some Brooks items and was keen to investigate. Fortunately for me, the macho branding of the shop had produced mainly macho customers and the demand for faux-wicker was low, to say the least. I was offered my front and rear baskets at a discount (though the Bontrager rear was incompatible so I ended up with a nice enough 'no-name' rear basket)

'No-Name' basket even had a plate
for rear light attachment!

The Bontrager basket is satisfyingly large and the Pashley basket
rest gives extra support to the handlebar mounted
quick-release system of attachment.

"It's not you, it's me. And my regret at
ever having purchased you."

I had also spent far too much time looking at pictures of honey coloured, luxurious Brooks leather grips on the internet so when I saw a green pair (The last pair of Brooks grips in the entire shop) I wondered if they'd look nice on the Pashley. They were offered to me at half price. I bought them. Rashly. For the Pashley. Yes, after careful consideration, I realised they were too chunky. I also realised that GREEN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Now the grips wait patiently in a cupboard for a bicycle to call home while the Pashley continues to sport the black plastic originals. One day, Brown, Slim-line Brooks grips! One day!






After my silly grips purchase, I even toyed with the idea of crocheting brown covers for the plain Pashley.

Honestly, the less said about that - The better.

Thankfully, Pashleys come with lights and bell so my insanity was curtailed on that occasion. For the Schwinn Jenny I bought the cheapest, most standard wicker basket in the shop of bicycle purchase and have been looking for a larger and nicer one ever since.

The quest for basket perfection is equalled
only by the search for the perfect lip balm.

Knog Boomers front and rear.

I also bought Knog lights which happened to be available in almost the same colour as the frame. Although if I had my time over, I would have bought the USB rechargeable versions rather than the battery powered. There's nothing wrong with the battery powered, I'm just not very good at remembering to keep batteries in the house. 

K-Mart bell.
They also sold streamers and
'Spokie Dokes'.

Of course, there are as many ways to spend money on your bike as there are outlets ready to sell you things and the bicycle world is full of $400 saddle bags that will make you ache for their leather-strapped beauty, but you can still add a personal touch to your bicycle without breaking the bank. You'd be surprised at the possibilities in your local K-Mart or craft supplies shop if you are quirky or love a spot of twee. Online shopping is great for finding bicycle accessories you didn't even know existed (Like many kinds of novelty valve-caps!) but there's also a lot to be said for exploring the ignored corner of your local bike shop. Even Roadie-centric retail will often stock a couple of items they begrudgingly included to appeal to the girlie crowd. I saw some mammoth Electra brand 'ding-dong' bells in one of my local shops despite the fact they don't stock Electra bikes. I may yet buy one. The largest range of upright bicycle accessories in Australian bike retail outlets would have to be Basil, the accessories offshoot of Royal Dutch Gazelle. They make a huge range of bike bags, baskets, seat rain covers, garlands, pet carriers and other things people in transport biking countries take for granted. If your local bike shop is a stockist, you have been blessed. If not, try asking. The same goes for anything you've seen online. Sometimes you'll get a condescending look but other times you might discover that the proprietor has been wanting to stock more accessories but wasn't sure if there was a local market beyond the Roadie customers. (This has happened to me in a few places.) If nothing else, you're building a relationship with your LBS (Local Bike Shop) that will definitely benefit you both in the future.

If you can only afford the low-end metal basket from
your LBS, check out the dollar ribbon bin
in your local craft shop. This took me an
hour and one too many whiffs of super-glue.

I'm not really one for adding a lot to my own bicycles
(though I love to see it on other bikes) but even I
couldn't resist attaching a pretend poppy to my basket
because it matched the red clips on my bungee strap.

Guess how close this is parked to artisanal bread.

Less than four metres.

A rare pleasure: An Australian Papillionaire bicycle on the streets of Perth, many miles away from the Melbourne hipster cluster that birthed it. I spotted this one parked outside a firmly suburban, middle class 'Farmer's Market'. (Nowhere near any farmers.) Yes, I was there buying artisanal gluten free bread and brownies. I am nothing if not a raging hypocrite. I'd previously seen a lone black Papillionaire in a shop display (it was not available for test rides) but had long admired their website pictures and wanted to see others in person. Especially that blue. I appreciate the solid looking back rack being coated the same colour as the frame. I wonder if the lack of a sprung 'trap' on the rack was responsible for the owner leaving croissant carrying duties to the silver bike's panniers? Of course, there are systems for carrying without a trap - Maybe she wanted something to match the charming front basket? The accessories offered by Papillionaire are certainly in keeping with the vintage aesthetic - leather grips and saddles embossed with the butterfly. Stylish (in YOUR opinion) and functional is key to loving your bicycle enough to use it regularly and Papillionaire bicycles certainly seem like they tick both boxes. If they ride as prettily as they display then there's a lot of hope for the Australian bicycle industry.

Pashley Princess Sovereign in Buckingham Black.

After my initial search for an all-weather upright bike led me to the dead-end junction of retail frustration and bicycle shop proprietor aggression, I was ready to concede that Perth was still a bicycle backwater, at least so far as Dutch style bikes were concerned. A week had passed after my doomed Gazelle and Lekker test rides, another slovenly Saturday sat fat-bottomed on my horizon and I relegated skirt guards and built in lighting to the dusty box marked, 'Discarded Dreams'. But my melodrama was soon interrupted by Ginger, he came back from some early morning errand excitedly ejaculating about finding a shop stocking the third bike on my test ride list: The Pashley Princess Sovereign. Hand built in England with a lugged steel frame, dynamo headlight, integrated rear light, hub gears, fully enclosed chain case, skirt guard, rear wheel lock, wicker basket, Brooks saddle, frame mounted pump and 'Ding-dong' bell; The Sovereign is the Rolls Royce of Upright Bicycling.

Image from official Pashley Cycles site found here.

We immediately drove to the better-heeled part of town so I could see if the hype was justified. It was clear that the shop primarily catered to selling very expensive road bikes to men who believe in buying very expensive road bikes. Ugly team jerseys and taint specific saddles abounded. This was too usual a state of affairs to note in detail, the main difference between this and every other shop I had previously encountered (apart from the road bikes being more expensive) was that they had a section of 'obviously girly' upright bicycles. The kind of bicycles a status conscious roadie might be convinced to purchase for his girlfriend/wife without her consultation and then spend their weekend outings eye-rolling at her inability to keep up in the park. "Is that wicker basket slowing you down, babe? Should've got a carbon one!" (Side bar: If your significant other insists on calling you babe, then all the weight reductions in Roadie Land probably won't make a ride with him any less leaden.) However, when you live in a bicycle backwater you cannot mind the cynical motives behind a bike shop stocking town bicycles, you simply give silent thanks and then prepare to be patronised for your purchasing choices.

Pashley Head Badge.

The Pashley Princess Sovereign is the spec-cream of the English made Pashley Cycles crop. Solidly understated and completely conventional, it is what you picture in your head when somebody says, 'British Bicycle'. The company offers a limited but coherent design aesthetic, featuring their classically shaped, lugged steel frame in a restrained yet delightful range of colours. Pink, blue, the quintessential bicycle red. You've probably seen a Pashley on television or film if anybody was in sniffing distance of an English village. You've definitely seen one if you were paying attention when Anne Hathaway got smeared by an automobile in that film about odious little Thatcherites having terribly white problems once a year. That was a red Pashley Britannia. (The bike, I think the car might actually have been a bus. I was too busy looking at the bicycle.)

Fully enclosed chain case means less chain maintenance, more weather proofing.

Woah, hey! No derailleur! The rear hub.

Pashleys have been manufactured in England since 1926 and wear their pedigree with pride. They are Dutch bikes: English style. A modicum lighter and slightly more compact in their geometry than their Oma cousins, Pashleys are aimed at both the urban and country environment provided the hills aren't too steep and the roads are semi-surfaced. Of their loop frames, The Princess Sovereign is the most expensive but broken down into its parts (and taking the manufacturing into account) it's not difficult to see why. Different Pashleys have different specification levels, a pop of colour will cost you gears or change the handlebar shape but they're all superficially the same. Being the 'top of the line', the Princess sovereign has the most gears of the loop frames - 5 speed Sturmey Archer hub gears. Though they are very proud of their English heritage, Pashley have fitted the Sovereign with a Pletscher rear rack. I presume this is because of the universally acknowledged strength and quality of Pletscher carriers, they easily accommodate baby seats and other heavy loads. Unfortunately, they have a Pletscher specific mounting system for baskets which is useless in Australia but they also have the standard 'rat trap' so your ability to carry is not compromised if you possess some ingenuity. (And by ingenuity I mean you can totally cram a milk crate on the back if you have no self-respect.)

The dynamo driven headlight has a wide arc of illumination.

The rear LED is steady (Not flashing), battery powered and very visible.

The Princess Sovereign model comes in three frame sizes and two colours, 'Buckingham Black' or 'Regency Green'. The shop had one of each colour in the medium sized frame on sale as they were the previous model and had some shop soiling. I crossed my fingers that I wasn't too tall (Pashley go by inner leg length so there is quite some overlap between frames) and then I rode them both along the leafy streets of Nedlands, dodging unnecessarily rugged 4WDs as I went. I was instantly pleased. Compared to the relative nimbleness of the steel Schwinn Jenny, the steel Princess Sovereign felt like a particularly elegant steamroller - I barrelled along the road propelled as much by inertia as peddling, the sheer weight of the Sovereign meant that what she lacked in quick starts she made up for in unstoppable force. The riding position was a great substitute for posture training and the distance between my knees and the handlebars gave a feeling of riding very neatly. It was obvious why they named her Sovereign - I couldn't help but feel regal. Compared to the Schwinn, everything felt more formal, from the harder saddle encouraging me to sit properly, to the super-solid pedals. It required a more formal style of bicycling than the breezy, casual cuteness of the Jenny 7 Speed. This was my first encounter with hub gears, though I was familiar with the 'thumb shifter' style changer mounted on the handlebars. It was quite the psychological leap to accept the fact I could change gears while at a complete stop or during active peddling. Still, I never quite got over derailleurs so I continue to pause cranking when I shift - at least it keeps me from getting back on the Schwinn and decimating the mechanism. The green Sovereign shifted smoother than the black (A hint of woe to be examined another time.) and this alone made the choice of colour difficult. As much as I wanted the black model, I could see it had been ridden a lot more and the green one actually had dust on it, so unloved was the colour. In the end I chose personal style over perfection and took the black Sovereign, though it was destined to cause trouble through no fault of its own.

The Brooks takes some breaking in and was a shock even to my fat bottom, especially
after the plushness of the Schwinn's comfort saddle but once it did, it was heavenly.

The Princess Sovereign may look genteel but she has a surprising amount of street smarts. First there's the rear wheel lock. The key stays inside until the lock is activated, you push a lever down and it 'locks' the back wheel, preventing it from turning and making the Sovereign impossible to simply ride away. The weight then deters anybody from kidnapping. I combine the rear lock with a cable, thankful that I don't reside in a city where bike thieves strip Brooks and everything must be U-locked. (I still remove the French made pump when I leave it outside, though.) Looking at the wheels of the Pashley, you may wonder where the spoke mounted reflectors are. They are absent because along with great lighting, the Sovereign comes with Schwalbe puncture resistant Marathon Plus tyres which have a reflective sidewall. Very reflective, much more so than traditional reflectors.

Here it is reflecting a flash in daylight.
At night, flash photography makes it resemble a UFO.

The tough tyres are perfect for urban environments, living near a pub in Perth meant there was often glass on the pavement outside my house and the Pashley accidentally rolled over shards on more than one occasion, never a puncture to blight her. Unfortunately, it's now a conscious effort to avoid rocks and glass on my other bicycle after I grew too accustomed to disregarding them. The tyres are that good. For all her toughness the Sovereign does retain some delicacy through the included wicker basket - despite the rack to hold it in place I couldn't bring myself to trust the lovely leather straps and woven wicker to the elements (This was to be my all-weather bike, after all) so on the way home from her liberation we stopped at Ginger's preferred bike shop (He had become a roadie, much to my shame.) and bought the incongruously stocked (For a standard roadie-centric shop - so they were on sale!) Bontrager faux-wicker front basket and attempted to purchase a matching rear one. This is where the Bontrager Vs Pletscher problem manifested. Both companies are heavily invested in the prestige of their rear racks and as such they have both created accessories compatible only with their specific carriers. After much examination, it was accepted that the Bontrager system was completely incompatible with the Pletscher rack, not even the rat trap provided a work-around. Fortunately, there was another rear basket with a spring loaded 'quick release' style, universal rack attachment that clipped it to the sides of the carrier. An occy-strap purchase later and it was semi-permenantly attached to the Pletscher. My Pashley Princess Sovereign arrived home, triumphant.

The full stack of baskets. Handlebar mounted Bontrager and no-name brand
secured with small black strap under rack.
In the absence of a cargo net, I bought a second, more colourful and wider strap to secure loads.

After over a year of riding it, I have found one flaw with the Pashley: It's so heavy that the kick-stand does not support it properly when unburdened and especially not when it's carrying a rear load. Many a time I've had to catch it and a few times I have failed and then had to straighten the handlebars. It's my desire to install a double stand (Like Dutch bikes often have) and Pletscher makes one I will eventually order online. Apart from that, I can say that for me the Pashley was absolutely worth the price. Though at about AU$1700, you can trust I have comprehensive bicycle insurance. (And also that I didn't pay retail.) It changed the way I ride - the weight and proportion required me to be more mindful in the beginning, to watch my technique. Once I mastered it, nothing could beat the feeling of stability and 'solidness' with the bizarre bonus that the more I asked the Pashley to carry, the less I felt like I was carrying anything, making the Sovereign an excellent transportation cycling/cargo option as well as a leisure ride. Unsurprising, as Pashley famously make old-fashioned cargo and work bikes for businesses in the U.K. Think mobile ice-cream sellers, deliveries etc. A woman even went touring on a Princess Sovereign so they're evidently built to carry. Pashley make roadsters as well as loop frames and have even recently delved into cruiser shapes. Whether this is folly remains to be decided by the market but so long as they continue to do what they do best, a few of these English gems will find their way to Australia and wait patiently to be appreciated.

And the fat-bottomed will continue to pose with them on front lawns.

P.S. For the one major fault inherent to the Pashley Princess Sovereign, I refer you to my more recent feelings on the bloody kickstand.

P.P.S. A lot of traffic arrives at this post searching for the weight of the Pashley. Without knowing exactly I can confirm that my medium frame Pashley is pretty damn heavy by modern bicycle standards. Heavy enough that a very fit personal trainer friend remarked upon it when lifting the back and estimated it to be about 20kg. I am woeful at judging weight by lift so take this with a grain of salt. Just know you'll probably struggle to get it up more than a few stairs.

99 Problems and a Bicycle Shop Proprietor is one.

The journey into madness begins with a ridiculous thought, 'What if I had...two bicycles?'

Actually if we're going to be accurate, it begins with Googling things you don't currently own, knowing full well that in this material age, constantly looking at pictures of things you don't own is the fastest way to wake up owning them. Thus, many pages of upright bicycle pornography later I decided to buy a bicycle with a fully enclosed chain case and hub gears and the capacity to carry an extra heavy load. For 'all weathers', you see. Though Perth winters are ludicrously like Summer in other parts of the world, I was knee deep in a plan to move to Tasmania and thought only of my bicycle future. Cough. Honestly. A super sturdy, all weather, upright tank of a bicycle was what I needed. The hunt for a proper Dutch bike in Perth was ON.

Even before I'd bought the Schwinn I'd desperately wanted to try out a Gazelle and this time, I found a stockist. Ginger and I hopped to the four-wheel and went forth to this wonderland of imported delights. It was here that I had the most uncomfortable bicycle shop experience of my life. So far as I knew, this was the only Perth stockist. The shop was crammed with bicycles and unfortunately for me, the SINGLE Gazelle was right in a corner behind some other bikes and the front door. There was also a Lekker, which I was interested in trying. The Proprietor made a bit of a fuss about us wanting to see such 'difficult to reach' bikes but at this point we thought it was good natured grumbling, shop banter. He spoke highly of Gazelles and said his wife had an old one that kept on keeping on. I was eager to try it out despite reading of some recent 'downgrading' of parts in the manufacturing. It was the traditional Dutch geometry and weight that I wanted to experience. I politely requested a test ride. The Proprietor stared at me as though I had asked him for a reach-around. He thought his declaration that his wife was very happy with her Gazelle should have been sufficient evidence for us to purchase one. The thing is, Gazelles are not as cheap as Schwinns. The bikes I was about to test still retailed for well over $1000. They are by no means an impulse purchase (Not that any bicycle should be an impulse purchase!) and certainly not one to be made without getting a proper feel for the bicycle. His grumbles followed us into the alley behind the shop. Realising what kind of guy we were dealing with, I then politely asked if the seat could be adjusted to height before test-riding. He complained out loud as he went to get a spanner and he didn't even do it himself, he asked the shop mechanic to do it. We were the only customers in the shop. It was with relief that I watched him retreat back inside to complain to nobody in particular about our inconveniencing him. We were left with the mutely apologetic mechanic.

Crimes against Bicycle Shop Proprietors: Asking for the seat to be adjusted.

Once I was permitted to ride the Gazelle I found it was (to me) a radically different geometry to the Schwinn. To make a car comparison, it was like being in a monster 4WD designed to have a 'high driving position'. I felt as though I towered above everyone around me. The seat was tilted back thanks to the different post angle. Though it doesn't look it, my feet were quite high off the ground so if I wanted to stop I had to dismount the saddle completely. You can see in the picture below that though the distance between peddle and ground is small, the way the seat is positioned means I could not put my toe down directly in line with the saddle, not without titling the Gazelle a lot and its weight made that a difficult proposition. The handlebars felt almost too close (I was told they did not height adjust, although that might have been bollocks.) and I had to mind where they intersected with my knee on tight corners. Mostly, the bike felt both lighter than I expected (in motion, it weighed a tonne at rest) yet simultaneously rooted to the bitumen. I was surprised by how unstable I felt at times, having grown accustomed to the comparatively featherweight Schwinn following every sway of my hips as I cornered, the Gazelle felt like a beast independently deciding how we would turn. It required more conscious control of weight distribution. Clearly, Dutch bikes needed a tweaking of my skills.

"Young Man, are you photographing my person? How fucking impertinent!"

Next, I tried out the Lekker. With seat adjustment of course. Similar geometry but cornering was dicier, at lower speeds I wobbled and when turning, the handlebar grips physically touched my leg and blocked my turning motion. I considered asking for the handlebars to be raised but as I was already leaning towards the Gazelle, I decided it wasn't worth it. Again, I was surprised at how 'fast' the bicycle felt for its weight. I could see that once I understood them and levelled up my skills ever so slightly, either would be a pleasant ride. They both had the fantastic Dutch stand, solid rear racks with bungee cords and skirt guards. Overall I spent about 15 minutes examining and riding the bikes up and down the alley (combined). They were worth exploring and I was seriously considering the Gazelle despite it being an older model, severely shop-soiled and the chain case and skirt guard being soft. (Only a problem because I wasn't sure I could get replacement parts in the event of catastrophic tearing.) I asked the mechanic if I could have one more go on the Gazelle to confirm my preference. (Again, there's no other customers and it's a Saturday. Not even near closing time.) Unfortunately The Proprietor heard me and said with disgust, "You'll wear out the tires, I've got to sell those, you know," and it was at this point I decided he would not be selling 'those' to me.

Showing my fat bottom to a pair of bins, examining a Lekker.

I smiled, thanked them both for their time and promptly left, ignoring the complaints about us not buying anything ringing in the air behind us and mentally sending The Proprietor to blazes. That was it for Dutch bikes in Perth so we drove to the only Pashley stockist in town where I was ultimately to buy my 'all weather' bike, albeit not a Dutch one. We've since been to many an independent Perth bicycle shop and discovered that The Proprietor is infamously rude to everybody all the time and a local joke amongst other bicycle shop proprietors. Ginger later saw him on a train, being rude to a tourist. No wonder the shop was crammed to the point of stock damage, I doubt he sells much with that kind of service.

Schwinn Jenny 7 Speed 2011 (From the block.)

UPDATE: As of mid 2012, Schwinn ceased production of the Jenny.

As of mid 2017 the Schwinn Traveler Womens is closest equivalent.

Don't be fooled by the rocks that she's got, this Jenny is a solid and reliable entry level bicycle wrapped up in a pleasingly understated package. Amongst 'real' cyclists, Schwinns lost all of their cachet once they ceased production in the U.S. but from the moment I pressed down on her pedals after an almost 15 year absence from the bicycling world, I was won over by the Jenny's modest, mass market charms.

Schwinn 'Jenny' 7 Speed - Retails between AU$400-$600.
As photographed in the exotic locale of the Fat-Bottom Household Lounge Room.

I'm not really risk-averse but I'm no bungee candidate either so I was slightly nervous when first I test-rode the Jenny. Firstly, it had been over a decade and it wasn't my bicycle so I feared a 'you break it, you bought it' situation. Secondly, the saddle had been properly adjusted to my leg length and it was a higher position than my memory of bicycle seat heights, probably at the direction of my parents either out of ignorance or safety concerns. I fully expected disaster on the hot gravel of Canning Bridge Cycles rear car park, particularly as there was a gym next door and it appeared to be 'Gymnasium Hour'. Everywhere I looked there were monster 4WDs birthing tank-topped, micro fibre towel toting gym bunnies. There was also an abrupt descent at one end of the car park which ended in something semi-industrial involving metal detritus.

I needn't have worried. The Jenny was comfortable and stable to me from the first push to the final, exuberant stop thanks to her sturdy steel frame, instantly responsive front and rear caliper brakes and broad, soft saddle more like you'd expect on a beach cruiser. (It's actually the Schwinn 'Downtown' model.) The upright position gave me a wide view of the cars trying to kill me and made a significant psychological difference to the amount of control I felt I had over the bicycle. Not that it was all in my head: The 7 speed Shimano gears are operated by the novice friendly 'revo shifter', something I hadn't even heard of at that point let alone personally encountered. The last time I'd seen gears they'd been thumb shifters on late 20th century bicycles so the smooth rotating action of the revo shifter seemed miraculous. Once I had established which number gear I had set off in, I didn't have to look at the shifter to turn it or keep track and a reassuring 'click' told me I was on target.

Shimano 'Megarange' 7 speed, 'Super-low' 14-34.
The numbers mean the smallest cog has 14 teeth, the largest 34. The larger the cog, the easier the gear.
(Yes, this is 'Bicycle Gears for Dummies' because I am still a dummy but I intend to be a dummy who learns.)

A Shimano 'Revo' shifter. (Image from Shimano website)
It sits in a seamless fashion above the handle bar grip and shifts by a rotating action using the rubber section.
Your hand barely moves from the normal riding position so it's a great system for less confident riders.

Surprisingly, there's not really a wasted gear on the Jenny when it comes to traversing the somewhat erratic topography of suburban Perth. Bike paths are as smooth as it's possible to make them but even they cannot escape passing through suburbs with the prefix 'Mount'. As it was built over everything from sand dunes to swamps, Perth can be delightfully flat and then suddenly slap you with a hefty slope, requiring a very speedy transition from seventh gear down to first. The no-brainer revo shifter excels under these conditions where other types of more 'mindful' shifting might find you reaching the base of the same hill still in third if you've had to stop for traffic as well. At times like that, I rather wish both my bicycles had revo shifters. I probably spend the least amount of time in 6th gear but there's no single setting I shun, they all have a job to do.

Your money goes on smooth shifting rather than metal head-badges.
And I'm fine with that.

The Jenny is relatively light for a steel bicycle with such a 'big' feeling frame, I have no problems lifting it up my front steps even after a particularly tiring ride. At 175cm (5ft 9"), I am at the taller end of the average height for an Australian woman (Most women I know are over 5ft 6", under 5ft 10".) yet my Schwinn Jenny is a size 'S' frame. The 700c wheels add to the 'large' feeling but if not for a later discarded sticker indicating the frame was for up to and including 175cm I wouldn't have believed I'd get away with a small. Schwinns are obviously sized large.

Pieces of Flair? The 2011 model Jenny is so deliciously downplayed that the only bit of
extra decoration went entirely unnoticed by me until I took this photo.

The other features of the Jenny that attracted me were the chain guard and pannier rack. Other than the generous gears and the very plush saddle (Even a fat bottom needs some cushioning) these are the two 'at market' features which really made this bicycle an excellent re/introduction for me to transportation cycling for the price. When researching I found many entry level steel frame bicycles that offered either a chain guard or an appropriate number of gears. Not many included a back rack though a lot had cute but flimsy front baskets which were clearly meant to appeal to a certain demographic. (Hipsterettes. The demographic is Hipsterettes.) Unfortunately the 'vintage look' market also means vintage amounts of gears (3 or 1 speed), manufacturers counting on the fact that most of these bicycles will be used for very short journeys made purely to impress other Hipsters at inner-suburban pubs or 'pine crates for chairs' cafés. I admit: I'm partial to a wicker basket but I also wanted to carry things weighing more than two baguettes or a litre of that Hilo slop which dares to masquerade as milk. I wanted to go further than my local deli and I wanted to do it dressed as myself. The rack was a must.

The Jenny's back rack has a fiercely sprung trap with a good range of motion. So far I have used the rack alone to relocate a boxed cheesecake (That time I used a belt as well because it was my first time trusting the rack), a biscuit tin full of my own dinner and an esky full of dinner for five. I purchased the front basket from the bicycle shop, it's only rated to hold 5kg so it's strictly for my handbag and any layers of clothing I might jettison during a ride. The chain guard means I can travel without getting grease on my leg and it offers a reasonable level of protection against the chain chewing on my pants. (It's probably still advisable to secure any 'Vintage Clothing Market' flares with a hair elastic.) The Schwinn Jenny also comes with a basic hammer strike style bell, a tiny gong to announce your presence as you circumnavigate your fellow man and any excitable dogs your fellow man may not wish to be interacting with your spokes. I eventually purchased three Knog lights (Two front and one rear) to complete the Jenny, happy to support an Australian design even though the people behind it are Category 5 Hipsters (Their ad campaign features a woman about to engage in sexual congress with the 'Boomer' front light).

Australian law requires a helmet,
a red rear light and a front light.

Although to be honest,
I can kind of see why she does.

Knog Rear light saves me from wearing
my LED knickers.

Not only do Knog lights look nicer than the thrusting, metallic POWER BEAMS!!! aimed at the Roadie commuter market, they come in a range of nice colours and feature a rubbery and clever quick-release attachment system which solved my personal problem of Basket Vs Headlight positioning by allowing me to attach them to the fork without using any tools. It also allows me to swiftly remove them to my handbag in the event of Shifty Hipster sightings in those more 'troubled' areas. You know, the ones with Porsches.

Post lights and basket, I think the Schwinn Jenny 7 Speed has reached her full potential as a fair weather transport bike/leisure ride and has provided the perfect level of coddling to regain my confidence as a cyclist. She's dependable, practical and fun. For an entry level upright bicycle, I wouldn't ask for more.

P.S.
I've since retired the wicker front basket and fitted the Jenny with Basil Memories Bottle baskets, my review and photos here.